The BULLETIN OF ZOMBIE RESEARCH was established in 2014 by the SOCIETY OF ZOMBIE RESEARCH AND MANAGEMENT to support responsible and effective control, management, and eradication of Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis (ZOMBI Encephalitis or ZOMBIE). The mission of the SOCIETY is to support the advancement of ZOMBIE control, management, and eradication efforts with sound science.
Since the first confirmed accounts of violence by persons testing positive for ZOMBI Encephalitis on disease-free humans, ZOMBIE Damage Prevention Programs had operated under a variety of unsubstantiated assumptions. Research and management were guided by beliefs that ZOMBIEs maintained neither the identity nor the cognitive abilities of their disease-free human origins, but instead functioned in an animated, feeding-focused, solely instinct-based vegetated state. This vegetated state has been described to include losses in reasoning, comprehension of cause and effect, abilities to learn and predict, as well as the loss of language and communication skills. Observations of ZOMBIE group aggregation, reciprocal sound production, and changes in behavior following apparent eye contact, however, suggest coordination in behavior that may indicate unique, to-date undescribed interZOMBIE communication.
Until now, studies comprehensively evaluating these and other critical research and management needs have been precluded by ZOMBIE-associated hazards. Fortunately, new methods for conducting safe field and laboratory studies with ZOMBIEs now allow investigation into these pressing research and management needs. Institutions equipped and certified to responsibly house individuals positive for the disease are now able to manage limited populations for permitted research purposes.
The results of these studies are featured in the BULLETIN OF ZOMBIE RESEARCH. The conclusions of these studies will force us to rethink our current understanding of ZOMBIEs and will also provide for the development of more informed and more successful management approaches. In Volume 1, investigations and implications of interZOMBIE communication are described, as well as the results of research examining associations between ZOMBI Encephalitis and alimentary canal damage, hair density, lung cancer survival, and amplified butterfly and weed populations. The potential control of these superweed populations using a systemically administered herbicide in ZOMBI Encephalitis-positive Homo sapiens is also explored. Finally, the first assessment of gross effects to newborns and maternal health is reported in pregnant ZOMBIEs.
Documentation and Potential Consequences of Alternative Host-Use by the Monarch Butterfly, Danaus plexippus L.
ZOMBI Encephalitis-Associated Increases in the Germination and Growth of Four Thistle Species (Family: Asteraceae)
Management of Canada thistle, Cirsium arvense (Asteraceae), via Administration of Systemic Aminopyralid in Homo sapiens
Adaptations in Alimentary Canal Structure in Subjects with Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis
Disease-Associated Scalp Hair and Follicular Changes in Individuals with Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis
Newborn Condition and Complete Blood Count in Pregnant Human Females Infected with Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis
Variations in Stage IV Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer Five-Year Survival in Patients with Toxoplasma gondii, Meningioma, and Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis
Evidence and Implications of interZOMBIE Communication